Never Too Far (Chapter 21)
Blaire pushed me back and jumped down off the counter before I could get my head clear from that orgasm. "Wait, I need to clean you up," I told her. I actually just wanted to clean her up. I liked it. No, I fucking loved it. Knowing I'd been there and I was taking care of her did something to me.
"You don't need to clean me up. I'm fine," she replied as she reached for her discarded dress and slipped it back on without making eye contact with me. Shit. Had I read her wrong? I thought she wanted this. No. I knew she wanted it. She'd been so damn hungry for it.
"Blaire, look at me."
She paused and picked up her panties. I swallowed hard as she stepped into them and slid them back up her body. I needed her again. She couldn't walk away from me now. I wasn't going to be able to live through it if she did.
"Blaire, please look at me," I begged.
Stopping, she took a deep breath then lifted her eyes to meet mine. The sadness there was mixed with something else. Embarrassment? Surely not. I reached over and cupped her face with my hand. "What's wrong? Did I do something you didn't want me to? Because I was trying not to lose control. I was trying real hard to do what you wanted."
"No. You… you didn't do anything wrong." She dropped her eyes from mine again. "I just need to think. I need some space. I didn't… I wasn't… We shouldn't have done that."
Stabbing me in the chest would have been less painful. I wanted to pull her to me and go all cave man claiming she was mine and couldn't leave me. But then I could lose her. I couldn't go through that again. I had to do this her way. I let my hand fall from her face and I stepped back so she could leave.
Blaire lifted her face to look up at me again. "I'm sorry," she whispered, then opened the door and escaped.
She had just blown my world away with amazingly hot sex and she was sorry. Fantastic.
When I finally emerged from the bathroom Blaire was gone. Jace smirked and Bethy made excuses for her. I didn't want to be there anymore either. After I made sure all the heavy stuff was moved and Blaire's suitcase and box were packed up I left. I couldn't stay there while the two of them watched me. They'd heard us. Blaire had been loud. I wasn't ashamed; I was just tired of them looking at me and waiting on me to say something to explain Blaire's departure.
I gave Blaire a couple days to come to me. She hadn't. I wasn't surprised. But she'd asked for space and I'd given her all the space I could handle. I didn't call anyone to play a round of golf with me. I didn't want anyone around when Blaire showed up. We needed to talk. No distractions or excuses for her to ride off.
It had sounded like a firm plan but after six holes and no cart girl I was beginning to wonder. Just as I was about to walk to the next hole I heard the sound of the cart. I stopped and turned around. The blood that had started pumping through my veins from the idea of seeing Blaire out here and having her alone froze when I realized it was that blond girl that I'd seen training a few times with Bethy. Shit.
I shook my head and waved her on. I didn't want a drink from her. She smiled brightly and drove on to the next stop.
"It's hot out here. You sure you don't want something?" Meg's voice asked and I glanced back to see her walking up dressed in a white tennis skirt and polo. She'd been big into tennis ten years ago too.
"Wrong cart girl," I replied and waited on her to catch up to me.
"You only buy from one?"
Meg looked thoughtful then nodded. "I see. You have a thing for a cart girl."
'A thing' didn't even scratch the surface. I pulled my golf bag up on my shoulder and started walking to the next hole. I wasn't going to respond to that comment.
"And he's touchy about it," Meg quipped. That annoyed me.
"Or it's just not your business."
She let out a low whistle. "So it's more than a thing."
I stopped and leveled my gaze on her. Just because she was my first fuck didn't mean we had any kind of bond or friendship. This was pissing me off. "Let it go," I warned.
Meg put her hands on her hips and her jaw fell open. "Oh my god… Rush Finlay has fallen in love. Holy shit! I never thought I'd see the day."
"You haven't seen me in ten years, Meg. How the hell do you know anything about me?" The annoyed snarl in my voice didn't even make her flinch.
"Listen, Finlay. Just because you haven't seen me in ten years doesn't mean I haven't seen or heard about you. I've been back in town several times but you were always partying it up at casa de Finlay and screwing every model perfect body that came your way. I didn't see a point in showing back up in your life. But yeah, I've seen you and like the rest of this town I know that you're a rich, gorgeous player who can have his pick of the litter."
I sounded shallow. I didn't like the picture she painted of me. Did Blaire see me that way? Not only can she not trust me to choose her and protect her butshe must think I'll just move on when someone else comes along. Surely she knows that isn't true.
"She's amazing. No… she's perfect. Everything about her is fucking perfect," I said aloud then shifted my gaze back to Meg. "I don't just love her, she owns me. Completely. I'd do anything for her."
"But she doesn't feel the same way?" Meg asked.
"I hurt her. Not the way you're thinking either. The way I hurt her is hard to explain. There is so much pain in what happened that I don't know if I can ever get her back."
"Is she a cart girl?"
She was really hung up on the cart girl thing. "Yeah she is," I paused and wondered if I should tell her exactly who Blaire was. Saying it aloud to someone and admitting this might help me make sense of it. "She and Nan have the same father." I hadn't meant to say it like that.
"Shit," Meg muttered. "Please tell me she's nothing like your evil little sister."
Nan had very few fans. I didn't even flinch at the accusation that she was evil. She'd brought this on herself. "No. She's nothing like Nan."
Meg was quiet a moment and I wondered if this was as far as this conversation was going to go. Then she shifted her feet and pointed back toward the clubhouse. "Why don't we go have some lunch and you can tell me all about this very strange situation and I'll see if I can't come up with some wisdom or at the very least female advice."
I needed any advice I could get. There were no females in my life I could ask for help. "Yeah, okay. Sounds good. You give me any advice I can use and lunch is on me."