Let's Get Textual (Page 28)

He shrugs. “It’s a gift of mine. Now, help me eat this pizza.”

“Don’t have to ask me twice.”

I grab a slice, devouring it in a few bites. “Holy s**t, this is the best pizza ever.”

“I told you so. Try it with ranch. I had them give me two different kinds.”

“You and your ranch obsession…” I wiggle my fingers his way. “Gimme.”

We sit there chowing down on the pizza, nearly finishing the whole thing off before finally declaring we’re full.

“I can’t eat another bite,” I groan.

“I can, but I don’t want to be that fat kid that eats the entire pizza with his girlfriend staring at him like he’s a chub monster.”

Girlfriend.

I know we decided we were officially dating and all that, but we’ve yet to speak those words out loud.

“Is that how you’ll introduce me to your parents? As your girlfriend?”

“I was going to tell them you’re my goat baby momma, but I don’t know if they’d find that as funny as I would.”

“No, I doubt they would, you weirdo.” I glance back at the still sleeping goat. “Speaking of…are we taking Marshy? Where do your parents even live? I need to prepare if this is a long-a*s road trip. How long will we be gone? Should I shave my legs? Should I pack an extra razor?”

Zach grabs my shoulder and gives me a shake. “Breathe, please.”

“I can’t!”

“You can! They live two hours north of here. Yes, please shave your legs—they’re disgustingly hairy.” I playfully slap his shoulder. “Marshy is coming. My mom can’t wait to meet him. And we can stay up there as long as you want. I usually drive up Thanksgiving morning and stay until Sunday afternoon. I do have to work until 3 on Wednesday, but after that, I’m free.”

“Okay, you’ll have to remind me of all that before we leave, because I’ll be honest, I may even forget who you are these next few days. My professors are being dicks and I have three tests to take before break.”

“I don’t miss those days one bit,” Zach remarks.

“I already don’t miss them, but only just over one more semester left. Then I’m free. I have no idea what I’m doing after that, but I’ll still be free, and that’s all that counts.”

“You really don’t have a single clue?”

“Welllll…” I draw out. “I do, but I don’t want to put all my eggs in that basket. I’d really like to procure a spot in a smaller company, one that’s still growing, maybe even something freelance? I have no clue yet.”

“If you want…” he starts before pausing, considering what to say next.

“If I want what?”

“I haven’t talked much about this with anyone other than Robbie, but I’m thinking about expanding my Embody Positivity movement…like making it a full-fledged company. I’ll need someone to help with the website and keeping the blog and press stuff up to date. Would that be something you’re interested in?”

I stare at him, blinking a few times, trying to process what he just said.

“Is this because we’re f*****g?”

“Um…no. It’s because of the way you looked at me when I talked about the project and showed you the app. Figured you might want to be included somehow.” He holds his hands up. “If I’ve offended you with my offer, I’m sorry.”

Well I’m a total b***h.

I groan. “No, no. I was being stupid. I assumed you only offered because I sound desperate to figure out my life after college and you felt obligated because we’re screwing.”

“Stop saying it like that. You make me sound like a cheap w***e.”

I lean over the seat and whisper into his ear, “We’re f*****g, Zach.”

He turns his head my way, his mossy eyes colliding with mine. His stare is hard, serious. I get lost in the sincerity of them.

“We’re dating, Delia. That’s a whole lot more than f*****g.”

His words hit me like a wave during a hurricane. They’re enough to knock me down and take my breath away.

“Do you get it now, Delia?”

I swallow thickly and nod. “I get it, Zach.”

Seventeen

Me: Zoe’s mad at you.

* * *

Zach: What did I do that I didn’t know I did?

* * *

Me: You apparently ate her cupcake.

* * *

Me: And that sounded WAY worse than I intended.

* * *

Me: Maybe I should be mad now if you’re eating my friend’s cupcake.

* * *

Zach: I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat another cupcake again without thinking of your sweet, sweet…

* * *

Me: DON’T SAY IT!

* * *

Zach: Say what? I was going to say smile.

* * *

Me: You were going to say p***y because you’re a disgusting man and want to ruin cupcakes for me forever.

* * *

Zach: I was totally going to say p***y, but it’s still true.

* * *

Zach: Hey, Delia?

* * *

Me: Yeah…

* * *

Zach: P***y.

* * *

Me: I’ll show you p***y…

* * *

Zach: Finally! We’re sexting!

* * *

Me: DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT

* * *

Zach: That is the last thing I had in mind.

* * *

Zach: Also, that kitten is adorable.

* * *

Me: Right? Do you think Marshy would mesh well with a cat?

* * *

Zach: I am not buying a cat, Delia.

* * *

Me: We’ll see.

* * *

Zach: It’s not happening. Get it out of your head RIGHT NOW.

* * *

Me: Like I said, Zach, WE’LL SEE. WINK.

* * *

Zach: Don’t you wink at me.

* * *

Zach: Delia…

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* * *

Zach: DELIA!

* * *

Zach: Goddammit. I’m getting a cat, aren’t I?

* * *

Me: WINK.

Zach: How’d your tests go?

* * *

Zach: Also, I just realized we still text versus talking on the phone. Is that weird?

* * *

Me: I think it’s a good thing to keep the roots of our relationship strong. Besides, I can say weird s**t to you via text that I don’t feel comfortable saying otherwise.

* * *

Me: Like one time I believed goose and geese were two different animals. Spoiler alert: they’re not.

* * *

Zach: How did you make it to college? As a senior?

* * *

Me: The world will never know.

* * *

Me: My test was okay. I think I did well on the econ one. We’ll see after break.

* * *

Zach: Speaking of break…are you getting nervous? Meeting the parents and all that.

* * *

Me: Um…YES. Thanks for the reminder, jerk.

* * *

Me: I’ve been diligent in keeping up with shaving my legs—just for your dad. ๐Ÿ˜‰

* * *

Zach: No. NO. There will be NO sexy jokes involving my dad, Delia. NONE.

* * *

Me: I’m just saying, if Mr. Hastings is half as hot as you…DAAAAAAMN. I’d hit that.

* * *

Zach: I’m taking my offer back. You’re uninvited to Thanksgiving.

* * *

Me: And you’re out of my bed for at least three weeks.

* * *

Zach: *pouts* Fine. You can come, BUT STOP CREEPING ON MY DAD.

* * *

Me: We’ll see how he feels about that.

* * *

Me: P.S. I only have eyes for you.

* * *

Zach: I can’t even respond with something clever. My ego, it’s wounded.

* * *

Me: Is that even possible?

* * *

Zach: And she strikes again!

* * *

Me: Great, now I’ll have to spend the entire trip reassuring you of your complete and total sexiness.

* * *

Zach: Only if you feel like that would help…

* * *

Me: He says innocently. *rolls eyes* I’m onto you.

* * *

Zach: I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.

Zach: I’ll be there in about thirty. Had to stop and adjust Marshmallow real quick. He’s so high maintenance.

* * *

Me: I’ll get dressed now then.

* * *

Zach: So…you’re naked?

* * *

Me: DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT

* * *

Zach: Wow. Yes. You are definitely naked. *saves to spank bank*

* * *

Me: You had better delete that.

* * *

Me: Also, you’re welcome.

* * *

Zach: I promise I will.

* * *

Zach: Also, curiosity and all that, will you maybe still be naked when I get there?

* * *

Me: Depends on how fast you drive.

* * *

Zach: Challenge accepted.

Eighteen

“You’re not naked.”

“Very astute observation.”

“But I thought you’d be naked. I thought there’d be hot wild sex.”

“There’s a goat waiting for us in the car…”

Zach groans. “He’s such a little cockblocker.”

I snicker. “Come on, help me grab my bags.”

“Bags? Plural?”

“What? I wasn’t sure which outfit your dad would like the most, so I packed a variety.”

He drops his head into his hands. “Stop it, Delia.”

“Never.” I point to my bags. “Grab those. I’ll fetch the snacks.”

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